Yesterday I was out on errands, driving around and listening to my favorite radio station KPFK and the Aware Show was playing, a holistically focused show. They talked about the usual thing that probably everyone has heard, how to remove blocks in your life that prevent success, financial well-being, relationships, etc. I don't know if everyone has heard of it, but it's like positive thinking or the law of attraction as in the book The Secret. The concept can seem very removed from reality because it might seem to be a denial of facts. But it's not really. It's more of a change in viewpoint. Anyway, the host talked with the guest about her difficulties over losing business due to Covid 19. This is a total reality that she had been repeating in her mind, and she felt that this negative message in her mind was not serving her in finding a resolution to her problems. I have to admit I didn't listen to the entire show, but the idea stayed with me all day. There was a time period of my life from 2009 - 2012 which was very difficult for me. I suffered a lot of loss and illness, and change. I don't like to think of it. I don't like it when people mention we did this or that in a certain year because it brings it up for me. This time period for me is a reality, but it's also one that I repeat negatively in my mind. I have tried for so long to figure out ways to let go of this, and I think I've finally found a new message for myself. Yes, I've found a change of heart. Instead of constantly thinking that was a difficult time for me, I'm going to remind myself it was a period where I learned new directions and lessons about friendship. Really, even though I was not young at the time, I became much more mature and developed emotional intelligence. There were so many gifts, I learned to be more selective about who I had relationships with, I learned that I wanted to become more educated, I learned that I wanted to return to my earlier ambitions of being a professional artist. I found my voice, so to speak. It's ironic that, in reality, I lost my voice during this time because of surgery on my throat, but it's grown back. It's different, but it's better. I hope I can remember this!
