Spring and Summer 2020 Watercolors

Small Watercolors around the house & neighborhood

Stella

People are like Jellyfish

The story of the last 19 hours

I misplaced my other earring.  That may not be a big deal, not because of the value of a thing, or stones, or metal but because of what it represents in my life.  I often loose earrings, nice ones, that my husband gave me.  Sometimes I don't know why he gives me jewelry since I'm so good at loosing it.  But to me the issue that stands out is that I loose things, it's a fault of mine.  I know to put a plastic stopper on the back, yet I went out in my favorite earrings without doing that.  

Not a very interesting story...yet.  The problem isn't my faults it's my fixation with things I do wrong, or embarrassing or stupid and how long I will hold onto beating myself up over these things.  Surely I've done at least as many good, kind, helpful things in my life that I never remember.  Sometimes I lay in bed and think of what an idiot I was in grade school, instead of thinking of the nice things I did.  Why do I spend so much energy fixating on the bad things?  Why do I constantly beat myself up?  Why do I constantly beat my dear husband up (with my thoughts not physically)?  

I think this has gotten worse since Coronavirus.  I know it is very important that we stay home and don't spread or catch this disease and I'm not faulting that order, but staying isolated with my own thoughts is getting difficult.  So what can I do about it?  Change.  I can change my focus and remember to fixate on the good things.  I just heard my husband's voice, he's so happy, he's playing with our dog.  That is a thing to fixate on.  

So I guess the story of the last 19 hours is the emotional reminder it has given me.  The reminder to let go.  I hope I find my earring, but if I don't, the price of the loss is worth the lesson to change my focus. 

Legacy: Seven Decades of Ventura College Art @Ventura County Museum

I have a dyptych on display at the Ventura County Museum.  Unfortunately, you still can't go see it in person.  The show opening happened a few days before the lockdown order here in California, and with the recent numbers of covid 19 cases rising in California I doubt you will be abe to go and see it anytime soon.  I am told that the exhibit will stay up throughout the summer and you can see it virtually.  Here is the link:

 https://venturamuseum.org/virtual-exhibits/legacy-seven-decades-of-ventura-college-art/  

Making Daily- June 24, 2020

My work is pretty intensive, I tend to make fairly big paintings and I put a lot of details and symbolism in them.  And I make them up, they aren't just a person sitting there, don't get me wrong there are many marvelous paintings of people sitting there that I adore, but I don't usually do that type of painting.   Anyway this kind of work takes a long time.  And I'm not going to lie, sometimes it's pretty exhausting.  I think for quite a while on each piece, I take notes, gather images, take reference photos, sketch ideas and think some more.  Then I assemble the pieces into a priliminary sketch or digital painting before I start.  This slow process can make it seem to the outside world like I'm not working, because I'm not posting my progress daily.  

I enjoy product as much as I do process though so I make lots of smaller things daily. This feels healthy to me, it gets me out of my head and into doing.  You may know that I'm an avid fiber artist as well as a painter, so usually I spin yarn and knit daily.  I'm working on a sweater right now, it's not perfect, but I like it.  I forgot to photograph it but I will tomorrow.  One other thing I do is I make a lot of my own clothes.  I really enjoy that and have done it since I was a kid.  I just cut out some new sweat pants for myself, you probably don't need to see those!  Just grey sweatpants.  I'm also waiting  for some interfacing I ordered from the fabric store so that I can sew a dress for my daughter Jillian which is all cut out and ready to go.  

Today this is what I did.  I'm making small paintings of animal symbols.  Hopefully eventually I will have an entire wall of these symbols.  I did the rabbits a while ago, today I worked on crows, they are not done...tomorrow.  They actually don't even look good yet!  So hopefully you will be surprised by how nice they look when I'm done.

I've had some people mention that they get stuck and don't know what to paint sometimes.  I think it's good to just paint through those kinds of times, we all go through that.  Especially lately we're all under a lot of stress with the sad and horrible political issues, and the pandemic going on.  I think it's a good idea to just paint something, look on google and make a pretty picture or string some beads into a necklace.  It helps to decompress. 

 I also ordered these tiny looms from Loome Studio!  Tiny Looms They were inexpensive and cute, I thought it would be fun to make little weavings at night while I watch tv.

Black Lives Matter and an update

There has been so much going on over the last few weeks it's hard to decide where to jump into posting again.  I've wanted to say things because it's upsetting to see how the police treat black people in this country.  It's emotionally triggering to see and to be reminded of what it feels like to be the victim of racism.  BUT it's important to look, it's important to look with your heart and take in the pain that black people have endured and are still enduring.  It's hard to make art about anything else right now.  It's hard to talk about anything else right now.  It doesn't seem respectful to ignore it, so I won't.  Do something people, go to a protest, call your elected officials, post about racism, read a book, give some money to a group doing the work; it doesn't matter what you do to help just do it.  And change your mind.  Take responsibility for racism that exists within your own life, in your speech, racist abuse (formerly known as microagression).  I am doing this, one thing I've done is to start an anti racist book club on Facebook with some friends.  I'm proud to say we have 157 members! 

Also, something that I think should have been clear to me is becoming more obvious, let's decolonize our lives, let's normalize people of color by following them and the cool things they do on social media, buy their stuff, read fiction books and cookbooks and watch movies with people of color.  I've actually been gravitating towards tv, movies, businesses, owned by POC for a long time, but that is because I am one.  But are you white my reader?  Maybe you could do the same and normalize POC.  Remember we've been taught a perspective that the white version of everything is normal and everyone else is an "other."  Become concious of this, become "woke" as they say.  Just my suggestion...let's face it if you are a racist you won't like my blog or my art.  

                                    

So I do have some awesome personal news.  I was accepted into the MFA program at California State University Northridge.  This is a dream come true for me!  I get the opportunity to study art intensively with really amazing teachers and I am so incredibly grateful.  My plan is to take the program a bit slowly, in three years instead of two because I want to do really good work, and enjoy this opportunity.  

I also want to encourage any older people (like myself), to do the things you've wanted to all your life.  It's ok to be a student in your 50's 60's and beyond.  I spent my life being a mom, I took care of my children, and then helped raise my granddaughter before I could reenter school seriously.  

I hope you are well dear readers.  Thanks for looking at my blog, Elizabeth

List of books made by the book group:
How to be an Anti-Racist - Ibram X. Kendi
White Fragility - Robin D'Angelo
Me and White Supremacy - Layla F. Saad
The New Jim Crow - Michelle Alexander
Stamped from the Beginning - Ibram X. Kendi
Why I am No Longer Talking to White People About Race - Reni Eddo-Lodge
So You Wanna Talk about Race - Ijeoma Oluo
Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?: And other conversations about Race - Beverly Daniel Tatum
A People's History of the United States- Howard Zinn
The End of Policing - Vitale
The Hate You Give - Angie Thomas
Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower - Brittney Cooper
I'm Still Here:  Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness - Austine Channing Brown
Set the Night on Fire: LA in the Sixties
Just Mercy - Bryan Stevenson
Between the World and Me - Ta-Hehisi Coates
Lies My Teacher Told me - James W Loewen
The Color Purple - Alice Walker
Stolen Lives Killed by Law Enformcement
Coming of Age in Mississippi - Anne Moody
The Fire This Time - Jesmyn Ward

What are you doing in quarantine?

That's probably a question people are asking all over the place.  I can't believe we've been inside for six weeks now.  When I was hearing all the stories of quarantine in Wuhan I remember thinking of what life must have been like for all those people.  Honestly I'm uncomfortable, but I realize how fortunate I am, I have a home and a yard, and food I even have a few rolls of toilet paper.  I feel for the people who have to go to work on the bus or subway and are risking exposure, many can't afford not to work.  All the medical personnel that are risking their lives, I'm so grateful to them.

Anyway, what I've been doing is logging major studio time.  And I haven't just been painting but I've been sewing, spinning yarn, and knitting a lot.  I find that especially knitting with it's rhythmic nature to be of comfort.  There is something in the action of working with your hands that quiets the mind.  And you can find a calm inside.  You forget about the worries for a little while.  Craft is a moving meditation.

I am not kidding about logging those hours I just keep doing things even if they are ridiculous like decorating packages to be mailed.  

Art Trading card, and a handspun, handknit bag for my friend.  Which will be mailed in the decorated envelope.  Because she's my friend who reminds me to stay cheery and enjoy life in the moment.

One more thing...if you'd like to learn to knit here is some instruction I did...it's really short, I'm no youtube vlogger (not yet anyway), but it will help you learn a knit stitch.  Maybe I'll make a matching video to teach you to purl. 

Hummingbird

We have hummingbirds in my backyard!  And yes, in southern California we have hummingbirds year round, but this year we have a nest with tiny babies in it right outside of our patio door.  So this litte hummingbird family has become a pleasant distraction from our uncomfortable feelings while sheltering at home during a pandemic.  The Animal Medicine card book describes the hummingbird as a symbol of joy.  It says that hummingbird feathers conjure love and can open the heart.  It says that hummingbird asks us to "Drop our judgemental attitudes and relax" (Carson and Sams 214).  I really needed to read that today, I have been experiencing a lot of feelings during this quarantine.  I know its not news to anyone, we are all feeling a lot of the same things.  Part of the difficulty about staying home in a large family is finding solitude.  The exact opposite of people alone are experiencing.  And don't get me wrong, I'm a very social person normally, I love people and visiting, but I counter balance that with solitary time.  During my solitary time I process my ideas, it's essential to my creative practice.  Sometimes I wonder if the experiences we live are supposed to give us some kind of insight into ourselves. Is there some universal power guiding me towards enlightenment?  So admittedly I've been feeling a bit judgemental of people I'm quarantining with and I think that is not really making things any easier for me.  So dropping that a bit today.  I'm just going to watch the hummingbirds and make some more art.

Carson, David and Sams, Jamie.  Medicine Cards.  Santa Fe, Bear & Company, 1988.